Do you ever find yourself in a tug of war?

In times of uncertainty there is nothing worse than the tug of war that can go on between our heart and our head. This tug of war can seriously affect your decision making ability. One of the most powerful tools we have as human beings is our intellectual factor called intuition.  I wrote a whole blog post about these faculties some time ago.  Our intuition is that power within us, that sense of spirit speaking directly to us, that feeling we get in our ‘gut’.  Well how many times do you take that feeling or that message from Spirit and start questioning it? Is this really for me?  I don’t think I could ever do that.  What if I fail?  I’m not smart enough or I don’t have all the answers or I don’t know where to start. This can be simply put as a tug of war between our heart and our head.  Our intuition is giving us a sign, a hunch or a message from the heart, but then our head takes over and we start to reason, and question that sign. I recall sitting in a seminar with a friend and mentor, Bob Proctor, and he made a profound statement that I will never forget, in fact, I share this same message with my own clients, “When your heart and your head are in conflict, always listen to your heart.” Wow….what a profound statement, but I can tell you it has made a tremendous difference in my life, especially when it comes to making decisions.  We have a tendency to play it safe, to do what is comfortable – that is our head talking.  Then we drift off and start to dream….. What if? …. we ask ourselves. Much of this tug of war comes from trying to conform, we are afraid to step out of the crowd, afraid to step away from what is comfortable, what everyone else is doing.  A similar example is young people who want to fit in.  They all want to wear the newest shoes, the brand name jeans.  They do this because they want to belong, they don’t want to stand out, they don’t want to be laughed at or ridiculed.  I remember a conversation I had with my son when he was about 12 years old, he wanted to get his ear pierced.  Well, I asked him why he wanted to wear an earring and it was because a couple of his friends had their ear pierced.  And I asked him again, “Why do YOU want to get your ear pierced?”, never mind why anyone else wanted to, I wanted to know why he did.  Well, he never did get his ear pierced, and I hope he learned a lesson that day – do not follow the crowd. This is fine for children, as it is part of the learning process, the many lessons they need to learn.  However, as adults we fall into the same patterns, wanting to belong, not wanting to be ridiculed or laughed at, so we conform. We don’t want to have to justify our actions so we simply conform.  After all, it takes courage to step outside the norm.  It takes courage to follow your heart.  It takes courage to really stop and listen to what your heart is telling you or what your heart is pulling you towards. “It is only when we silent the blaring sounds of our daily existence that we can finally hear the whispers of truth that life reveals to us, as it stands knocking on the doorsteps of our hearts.”  ~K.T. Jong So….next time your heart and your head are having that little tug of war – have the courage to trust in what your heart is telling you.  I am not saying it is going to be easy, but in the long run, it will be so worth it. Feel free to share with me a time where your own head and heart were in conflict, I would love to hear about it. Blessings and abundance my friend!

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Leave A Reply (8 comments So Far)

  1. Right on Susan! Three years ago I found myself in the dilemma you are speaking about. The tug of war between an adventurous sojourn and the fear of the unknown. The sojourn (my heart) won and if I had not done it I would not have written a book about that adventure and I would not have the business that have today. I often say your intuition (inner teacher) is your direct line to the Universe. Thanks for a super article!

  2. Joyce Sobotta
    3 years ago

    Susan, brillant post! I have had heard Bob Proctor and his words of wisdom. I can relate to the busy ,noisy world around us. Only when we can be in a place of quiet and intention can we listen to our heart and hear the messages that it gives us with love. Thanks for posting. You are a wonderful writer..

  3. Julie Nelson
    3 years ago

    Susan I love this and had a chuckle as it so reminded me of me. Although I do follow and trust my intuition and have worked on this for many years, I still have that tug of war sometimes. Something I often hear people say ‘ Oh why did I do that I new better’!
    Great post, thank you!

  4. Dorine Kramer
    3 years ago

    Great post Susan, and beautifully written. I struggle with this tug-of-war a lot actually. I spent many many years overruling just about every heart based choice with logic and rationality and ended up second guessing myself constantly. More recently I realized that although I am really good at reason and logic, it rarely serves me as well as the intuition I taught myself to ignore in the past. So I’m relearning how to tune in and just go with the flow.

  5. pawan
    5 months ago

    my heart wanted to go to college A and my brain to college B so whom should i listen to?

    • susan
      2 months ago

      I would have listened to my heart – College A :)

  6. Rachel
    2 weeks ago

    I made my college decision with my head taking priority over my heart. It lead me to a public university that was sound financially for me and my family, with a great national reputation and good academics, but was uncomfortable for me. I had always been drawn to smaller liberal arts colleges but I talked myself out of applying because I was betting they would cost too much. Now I’m a year in, and I’m still very uncomfortable, and looking to transfer to a smaller school. This time I’ll let my heart lead me to where I’m meant to be.

    • susan
      2 weeks ago

      Great lesson Rachel. I hope you find a smaller school that resonates with YOU – let your heart lead the way, thanks for sharing <3